Never Ever....

Think that it cannot happen to you. WHEW!

Last week was sort of a whirlwind blur for me. I mean, yeah- most of the week was just sort of gone before it began. Nothing uneventful or anything, but Friday and this weekend were just a real damn trip.

Friday is the day I decided that I would go ahead and fly on up to Iowa to check out my chica & her daughter since I had taken the day off, right? So I should have REALLY paid attention to the underlying SSSS on my e-ticket confimation. Just so you know, if you look at your ticket when you have a flight, SSSS means SPECIAL SECURITY SCEENING by the TSA. You're going to have to submit to a full scale search of yourself and your carryon bag.

Anyways, so I go through the first screening area, and then the guard comes over and tells me to pick up my things and follow him over to the special screening section because it's time for me to get screened. I'm like, Damn- I JUST went through the metal detectors and shit. What ELSE could I have on me? LOL.

So the guy's patting me down and stuff, and I'm cracking crazy ass jokes the entire time to kill that huge ass 'awkward' moment, ya know? He finishes, then I leave the screening area- lug my equipment ALL the way to gate A-10 of the airport terminal, and just as I put my hand in my pocket for my wallet to go buy a freaking drink- I notice my wallet's gone. Just as I try remembering where I could've put it, TSA officials broadcast my ENTIRE NAME over the PA system: JAMES ELLIOT HARRIS WILL YOU PLEASE RETURN TO THE SECURITY SCREENING AREA IN CONCOURSE A? I'm like, Fuckin' A! Gotta go get my wallet! But this also means I have to drag my luggage all the way back with me. I returned to the Station, got my wallet, then headed right back to Gate A-10 to wait on my flight and get something to drink.

The flight up to Moline, Illinois was NICE. Seriously. I sat on row 5- my seat was 5-A, a window seat. There was NOBODY beside me, so I could stretch out and do whatever the hell I wanted to do. The lady across the aisle from me got to enjoy the same thing. The Canadair jet I was on was pretty booked, but there were at least 20 open seats or more. My flight left on time, and we touched down in Iowa right on time. It was cold as hell when we were allowed to disembark the jet, so I wandered on through the airport- looking for my baby and her daughter because they were there to pick me up when I landed. LOL. I wandered straight through the terminal without even seeing them, and believe me when I say that I was looking for them- just never actually caught them in my eyesight. So I pick up my baggage, fire off a text, walk to the airport windows and can LITERALLY see my girl's car across the street in the airport parking lot, so I KNOW that she's there....somewhere, lol. She calls me on my phone and her and her daughter are standing right behind me, so I gave her a hug and a kiss, we piled in the car and then took that hour drive on out to Iowa City where they live.

We get out to her house, my baby's daughter (Raven) is driving her crazy, and she's slick getting annoyed, but we managed to avoid the fireworks and get on to the house before something really started popping off. We had a pretty nice Friday night, I had to fight Raven off half of the time because she just kept wanting to poke my stomach (I made it a New Year's Resolution to get rid of the weight I've gained) and Vida cooked us dinner. After that, we settled down- put Raven to bed, and discussed how we were gonna do the shopping. I flew up because we had to get Raven's gifts, so Vida and I decided on the option being to drop her off with her grandma and then we'd have her out of our hair to get shopping for her gifts out of the way. After planning everything out, we spent a little time hugging up and stuff, then we took our butts to bed.

On Saturday, we woke up, ate breakfast, got dressed, and got Raven set to go to her grandparents house. A coworker of mine left me a text message stating that our OTHER coworker had gotten let go; so I spent a huge amount of time in disbelief, then I called her back and we discussed the work situation. Then I called home to make sure everything was ok, and was told by my sister that our older brother was involved in an auto accident right after he'd gotten off work earlier that same morning! When I got off the phone, the two of us hit the mall to do some shopping- I HAD to clear my head somehow. All in all, we got everything taken care of, then when it was time for us to go pick up Raven, Vida asked me to meet her mom. HUGE MISTAKE. Well, not really huge- but I mean, her mom is a JW (that's Jehovah's Witness to you) and I really don't understand it or care to know how it happened, but the lady has all of these ill-conceived notions of life here in Memphis. What really set me off was because Vida also explained to me that her mom also has all these notions that anyone who lives in Memphis must be a damn drug dealer or something, so I really wasn't feeling the meeting. I only really went through with it because Vida asked, and because I really wanted to understand just what the situation was here. How about I get over there, we pick up Raven, Vida introduces me to her mom, and in the exact space of 3.2 seconds- this woman is quizzing me like I'm a fucking idiot or something? Plus, she's firing off questions so damn fast- it's almost like I'm getting interviewed for a freakin' job, NOT meeting my girl's mother. That shit REALLY annoyed the hell outta me. Mainly because I don't judge people, regardless of the situation. If I find that I know less about a person than I thought, then I sit back and observe their behavior before I decide finally which category to firmly place them in. Anywho- so yeah, I'm standing there and it's like I'm getting angrier and angrier- but I'm masking it so well that it's almost like nobody probably could tell. (But this is the condensed version, I can't tell you guys everything that happened, because then it would cause me to have a BAD MONDAY.)

When we left that house, I was glad as hell. I'm not even gonna lie and say that I wasn't. Vida could tell I was mad, but as I told her- it had NOTHING to do with her, it was just the fact that I sat there and listened to ALL of the BULLSHIT her mom said, and not to disrespectful or anything- but everything her mom said to me just REALLY made her seem a little bit out of touch and VERY misinformed to me. It's like, if you've absolutely GOT to talk about someplace- then PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE actually KNOW SOMETHING about the place you're talking about. Don't just go assuming that everyone who lives there must either be a drug dealer or some other type of criminal. So then, her brother calls as we're on the way home- he wants to know my full name, where I work, what I do for a living. I'm like, DAMN- DOES IT EVER END?

I got so fed up with it that I simply looked at Vida and told her that for the immediate future, I simply am choosing to exercise my right NOT to meet anyone else from her family. The funny part was because she understood exactly. Once we were home and had dinner, she called her mom and they got into it, then her sister weighed in on it. It ended up with Vida being so angry that she just shut down and didn't say anything more about it, which was fine with me if we didn't talk about it; but I hate the fact that she goes into 'silent mode' and pushes me away, especially when all I want to do is make sure that she's ok.

We talked about it a little bit later and came to the concensus that we weren't going to let anything else kill our buzz. We completely pushed that issue into the back of our minds, and just focused on building happy memories by decorating the christmas tree. Vida, Raven, and I had fun too. By the end of the night, we were all so dang tired though. Raven went to bed somwhere around 11 or 12, I was knocked out taking a nap, and Vida finished everything up. Then I joined her back in the living room and we stayed there for a sec before getting into bed together.

On Sunday, we still had a few things to get done, but we started the day off by cleaning up and then lighting another fire in the fireplace. For the most part, we had fun and enjoyed our brief moment as a dysfunctional family in America's heartland. When it came time to take me to the airport though, it was raining and the temperature was dropping like a stone. Vida & Raven at first just dropped me off at the airport, but they sat outside for a good minute, just in case. I was just walking in the airport doors when the PA announcer said: ATTENTION - NORTHWEST FLIGHT 2218 with service to Memphis will be delayed due to a computer malfunction. So I call Vida on the phone, she parks the car and brings Raven inside with her. We're doing the whole little dysfunctional family thing again (it was cute), and finally I get checked in, we drop by a shop to get Vida some caffeine, and Raven's just being goofy and blocking me and Vida from kissing and hugging by jumping in between us. The whole thing though, is ironic- considering how jealous that Raven was acting towards me showing her mom affection, but the funny part came about because Vida's telling me (in whispers, of course) how Raven is constantly telling her that she doesn't want me to go. That like REALLY FLOORED ME. After they left the airport to take that hour long drive back to Iowa City, I'm sitting at the gate waiting on our literal 'phantom' flight. I mean, the flight was supposed to have left at 4:35, but due to the computer crash, the new destination time was a little past 6:30. I'd say that literally ALL of the passengers who had other connecting flights either had already boarded another flight by then, or had already missed their connecting flights into Memphis, and would have to stay the night anyway.

I sat at Gate B-7 with a very cheerful lady and her daughter- they were on their way to Memphis for a St. Jude checkup. We basically spent the night just talking about the economy, kids, DUBYA- amongst other things, lol. We pretty much figured out that our flight was going to arrive late and that we were also going to leave late. There was fewer than 12 people on Flight 2218, and aboard plane, I sat and had a wonderful chat with another passenger who so happened to be flying out to Alabama for her own job training. She'd already missed her connecting flight, so we were just on the plane with this other couple and our whole little group was just cracking up. In fact, every time the captain made an announcement- we were laughing so hard that everybody else on board was laughing too. He finally came back to see what was going on, and the flight attendent brought him straight to us. Ol' Capitan wanted to know why we were laughing during his posting announcements, but like I told him- literally, I luck just COULDN'T get any worse. I recapped his announcements and when I stated the one he told us about having to possibly reroute around thunder storms, we all just broke into a fit of laughter again. The other guy smiled at the captain and was like, Look- we're all in the same boat here. You're stuck in this aircraft with us, and we're stuck here with you. We're the loyal passengers who stuck it out and decided that life is life. Then he added, but you gotta admit- this shit is funny, man. The captain did finally admit it too.

After he'd gone back up front, our aircraft sat there on the tarmac well into the evening. We got de-iced twice, the left turbine froze up completely, it was just crazy. Finally, when we were cleared to leave the gate- everyone on board cheered in their own way- we were just happy to FINALLY be leaving Moline, of course. The airport literally shut down while we were out on the tarmac waiting for clearance to leave, and we were the very last flight of the evening to arrive in Memphis.