Guys & The Art Of First Impressions

Let's face it guys, there's a rather large majority of us who have forgotten how to impress & please our potential mates out there. When you think about it, a lot of guys unintentionally sweep their own feet from under themselves when it comes to meeting a woman, chatting her up, and then figuring out her intentions.

The guys I hang around with are all married, I'm the only 'official' single guy of the group. Unfortunately for me, this means that I can never go around them without having to hear about some 'nice' woman out there, who is a friend of one of their wives, or sisters, or cousins, or whatever- and to be honest, 99% of the time, I bow out anyways and insist upon them NOT introducing me to ANYONE that they know.

Why do I do this?

Well, to be honest- I'll let you in on the group secret. All of my buddies are married because of ME.

Yes, you READ that correctly. My best buds are all in meaningful relationships thanks to ME.

Now, how could something like that even be possible?

If you've seen Two Can Play That Game- then you realize that there are people out there who can play the matchmaker like Shante, and be quite good at it. While I do NOT compare myself to a fictional character (played by the forever sexy Vivica A. Fox), I CAN say that I presented my buddies with a simple plan and it helped them all out at various stages of their relationships.

That system, is exactly why I prefer to be single until I meet a woman that I feel will actually benefit from what I've learned. But I'll get on to that later.

The plan I started is called Being 4 R.E.A.L., and it is ONLY 4 simple steps that can benefit any guy, whether needed or unwarranted. REAL stands for:

*R - Respect

*E - Excitement

*A - Appeal

*L - Loose

The entire plan is based on the premise that women, ALL women- are like computers. They're operating on certain social and behavioral protocols, much in the way that we sort, organize, and trash our emails on a daily basis. You can initiate these steps and have a woman truly gushing over you and the next time that she'll see you.

When you approach a woman, you want her to take notice of you immediately. If she doesn't, then you can rest assured that as soon as you've moved out of her sight- she's immediately forgotten about you.

That's what you don't want to happen. Instead of approaching her like the world should fear you, try approaching her like the world is your friend. Nothing puts a woman off more than when a guy approaches and calls her by a name that she either doesn't want to hear, or be associated with. The optimal tip here, is NOT to call a lady "BOO", "Lil Mama', "Baby", etc., as you approach her.

So for step "R":

Show some Respect. Approach a woman like she has some sense and that you respect the sense that she has. If you introduce yourself and don't treat her like her day is more eventful just by being in your presence, then you'll have automatically scored points with her. (Hint: Show her that you respect her by listening to her and responding to her in a clear manner.)

From there, you move ahead to the next step and begin getting your initial feedback from her during your conversation.

For step "E":

Show her that you're Excited to make her acquaintance. Casually announce your intention to talk to her on a more private level. If she plays this off and tells you that she's looking for friends only, then respect her decision- but let her know that you're in play to make her change her position on that stance regarding you. (Hint: Show her how excited you are to meet her; when shaking hands- hold her hand a little longer than normal, but not too long- you don't want to seem clingy.)

Yes, it's a fact that people should be friends before they become lovers- so don't hassle her if she decides that she's more willing to be friends before bed buddies at this point. Keep your wits and stay on point. Accept her friendship. That status can ALWAYS change later.

For step "A":

Always Appeal to her sense of fairness, love, and dedication to just being a woman. Don't make yourself seem like more than you are. Compliment her, and accept any compliments which she might bestow upon you. (Hint: If you've just met a woman, and the two of you begin complimenting each other right off the bat, then it's a safe bet to assume that you could possibly walk away with her number in your pocket right then and there!)

Remember that ANY woman would want a man who can unanimously bring a smile to her face, even when she doesn't feel like smiling. That's the true test of a man's character and skill, when it comes to a woman. Can you get her to look past herself and see that you would be a better fit for her than anyone else might be? If you think that this step doesn't matter, then I can't even begin to tell you how wrong you are.

And for step "L":

Be as LOOSE as you can. ALWAYS remember that this is the MOST important step, because it's YOUR guideline to approaching a woman in the first place. If you're not relaxed around her, then she'll know. Consequently, if you're nervous, aloof, or just all casually blase- again, she'll know it, and you will be dismissed. (Hint: Keep your cool, and take control of the setting by maintaining a responsible, relaxed, and positively charged atmosphere. Stay within her comfort zone and break the ice as respectfully and as playfully as you can.)

Using the principles of knowing how to Be 4 REAL with their ladies is what I established in the minds of my buddies, and subsequently- I realized that it might just benefit other guys as well.

So hopefully, I've given you guys something new to think about- especially if you always have to sit back and think about how or what you may have done to offend a woman into NOT giving you her contact information.